


Five Conversations That Happened ... and One That Maybe Might Have

by GrrraceUnderfire



Category: Hogan's Heroes (TV 1965)
Genre: Drabble Collection, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22280830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrrraceUnderfire/pseuds/GrrraceUnderfire
Relationships: Robert Hogan/Peter Newkirk
Kudos: 25





	1. L’amour

“ _Il t’aime_.”

”Shut up, LeBeau. That’s ridiculous and disgusting.”

LeBeau scoffed. “If you say so.”

“Why would you say such a thing? Why do you even _think_ that? You bleedin’ frogs. All you think about is _l’amour_.”

” _L’amour_ is beautiful. Love makes the world go around.”

”Sorry, mate, but that kind of love makes the world come to a grinding halt. Usually at the end of a truncheon, in a pool of blood.”

”He does love you. It’s obvious. The way he touches you. The way he looks at you.”

“Then he’d better keep his hands off me. Fucking queer.”


	2. I saw that

“You like him.”

”Of course I like him. He’s the Gov’ner.”

”Not that way, imbecile. You really like him.”

”Louis, I swear to God, I’ll hurt you.”

”No you won’t.” LeBeau waved a hand and smiled. “I’m your best friend. I’m telling you the truth.”

”All right, Oracle of Wisdom.” Newkirk turned away, but on kitchen detail there was nowhere to go.

”I saw it. Your salute with your little soldier.” He waved in the general direction of Newkirk’s crotch. “You get hard when he praises you.”

”I get hard when the wind blows, mate. I need a good wank.”


	3. Relief

“Oh sorry.”

”Oh. Christ, LeBeau. I told you I needed time to meself.”

LeBeau stood there, eyeing his friend. Standing in his sewing hut, trousers loose, he had himself in hand. The Frenchman felt a surge of arousal.

”Remember that time in the cooler?” LeBeau ventured.

”Trying to forget. Now go.”

”You liked it then.”

”I was bored. And stupid. Doesn’t make me queer.” He looked at LeBeau. “You’re not, are you?”

LeBeau took a step closer and unbuttoned himself. “No. Just hungry, like you.”

”Fine,” Newkirk huffed. “You there, me here. And quit grinning.”

” _Certainement_. Save yourself for him.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Why always me?” Newkirk grumbled as he fussed with his padding. “Blimey, I can’t be the only one what can pass for a dame.”

”You’re the best. And I think he likes you this way.”

”Shove off, LeBeau.”

”Well, you asked.”

”And you answered. Exchange over,” Newkirk snapped. 

Hogan arrived, sized him up, grinned. “You look good in basic black, Newkirk.”

A tight smile. “So you’ve said. I’m weary of it meself. Better in blue.”

Hogan stood back, appraising. “Yes, I see it. We’ll get you more fabric.” Then, gone.

Eye roll. ”Not what I meant.” 

“Told you,” LeBeau snickered.


	5. Chapter 5

“Well, what if I did? Not that I do.”

”Did what?” LeBeau knew exactly what Newkirk was driving at, but he wasn’t going to let him squirm off the hook easily.

”Liked him that way,” Newkirk said. “There’s nothing for it. I couldn’t tell him.”

”Because?”

“He might kick the shite out of me,” Newkirk growled. “And he’s an officer.”

”He is. And he won’t. I’ve seen how he looks at you.”

”Well, what would be the point? He wouldn’t want to...”

”Oh, I think he would,” LeBeau interrupted. “Skin to skin.”

“Touch me there? Blimey.”

“Make love to you.”


	6. Chapter 6

“LeBeau said you we wanted to see me, Sir?” Newkirk stood in Hogan’s doorway, shifting anxiously.

“Newkirk! Yes, come in. Shut the door.” He gestured to his bunk. “Sit.”

“I’d pr-prefer to stand, Sir, if it’s all the ssssame to you.”

”Oh, really?” Hogan bit back a laugh. “Why is that? Feeling shy?” He edged closer, nose to nose. 

“Um, p-possibly.”

”I don’t bite.”

”I know.”

”What, then?” Hogan leaned closer.

”You smell like ... sssandalwood,” Newkirk whispered. 

“Astringent. So?”

Newkirk stood, eyes down, blushing, fidgeting.

”I can make the first move,” Hogan said.

A nod.

He did. And Newkirk surrendered.


End file.
